Finding My 'Why' (and Why It Wasn’t in a Marketing Book): How the Golden Circle Actually Changed My Approach to Business and Life

Confession time: I used to treat introductions as a game of job-title bingo—anxiously waiting to drop my role (“I’m an epidemiologist, I travel for work…”) like it was my golden ticket. But then Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle crashed into my world, and suddenly, I was asking myself uncomfortable questions. Why did I bother rolling out of bed each morning? And why, honestly, should anyone else care? These questions didn’t just tweak my career—they threw out the whole playbook. Today, I want to unravel the messiness and magic of rediscovering my 'why,' and how that single shift sent tremors through the way I work, connect, and (occasionally) mess things up.

Stop Introducing Yourself Like a Robot: The Trap of ‘What’ vs. ‘Why’

If you’ve ever found yourself at a networking event, nervously clutching a lukewarm cup of coffee, you probably know the drill. Someone asks, “So, what do you do?” and you respond with your job title or a quick description of your role. “I’m a marketing consultant.” “I work in finance.” “I’m an epidemiologist.” It’s automatic, almost robotic. I used to do this all the time, and I never questioned it—until I stumbled upon the Golden Circle concept and realized just how limiting this approach really is.

The Golden Circle concept, introduced by Simon Sinek, breaks down our approach to communication and leadership into three levels: Why (purpose), How (process), and What (outcome). Most of us default to the outermost circle—the “what.” We define ourselves by our job titles, our tasks, or the products we deliver. But as Sinek points out, “Very, very few of us can clearly articulate why we do what we do… what’s your purpose, your cause, your belief?”

The Default: Introducing Ourselves by ‘What’

It’s easy to see why we fall into the “what” trap. It’s safe, it’s factual, and it’s socially accepted. But it’s also forgettable. At one particularly awkward networking event, I introduced myself as a “content strategist.” The conversation fizzled out almost immediately. Nobody asked a follow-up question. Nobody seemed interested. But later, when I mentioned my passion for helping brands find their authentic voice—my “why”—the energy in the room shifted. People leaned in. They remembered me. That was the moment I realized the true importance of why.

• What: The job title or function (“I’m a project manager”).
• How: The process or differentiator (“I use agile methodologies to streamline teams”).
• Why: The purpose or belief (“I believe in empowering people to do their best work”).

The leadership communication framework of Why-How-What isn’t just a theory—it’s a practical tool for building deeper, more meaningful connections. When we lead with “why,” we invite curiosity, trust, and loyalty. When we stick to “what,” we blend into the background.

The Challenge: Articulating Your ‘Why’

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: it’s shockingly difficult to articulate our true purpose. Most of us have never been asked to dig deeper than our job description. We’re conditioned to focus on what we do, not why it matters. But the moment we start asking “why,” our conversations become more honest and engaging. We move from transactional exchanges to genuine connections.

“Very, very few of us can clearly articulate why we do what we do… what’s your purpose, your cause, your belief?”

I remember the first time I tried to answer the “why” question for myself. It felt awkward and vulnerable. But as I kept digging, I discovered motivations that went far beyond a paycheck or a promotion. I wanted to help people find clarity and confidence in their work. That was my “why”—and it changed everything about how I introduced myself and how I approached my business.

Neuroscience and the Power of Purpose

The Golden Circle isn’t just a catchy model; it’s grounded in neuroscience. The “why” level of communication speaks directly to the limbic brain—the part of our brain that drives decisions through emotion, not logic. Facts and figures (the “what”) are processed by the neocortex, which is rational but not decisive. Purpose-driven introductions, on the other hand, tap into the emotional core of our audience. They inspire action and loyalty because they make people feel something.

• Emotional purpose triggers action.
• Facts and figures rarely inspire loyalty on their own.
• Purpose-driven introductions lead to more meaningful connections.

The importance of why can’t be overstated. Whether you’re leading a team, building a brand, or simply making new connections, starting with “why” is the key to inspiring others and standing out. The Golden Circle concept taught me that leadership inspiration begins with purpose, not position.

Weird But True: The Law of Diffusion, Early Adopters, and Why I Refused Safe Bets

When I first stumbled across the law of diffusion of innovations, it felt like a revelation. This principle, first described by E.M. Rogers in the 1950s and 60s, explains why most marketing strategies fail to ignite real change—and why my own refusal to chase “safe bets” was, in hindsight, the smartest risk I ever took.

Understanding the Law of Diffusion of Innovations

The law of diffusion of innovations says that every population—no matter the size—spreads out across a bell curve. On one end, you have the innovators (the first 2.5%), followed by the early adopters (the next 13.5%). These are the people who jump in first, fueled by vision and belief. Then comes the early majority, late majority, and finally, the laggards (the last 16%), who only change when they absolutely have to.

Why Early Adopters Matter in Marketing Strategy

Here’s the weird but true part: Most businesses aim straight for the masses—the so-called “safe” middle. But the cynical majority is, by nature, skeptical and practical. They ask, “What’s in it for me? What if it goes wrong?” They want guarantees, not possibilities. If you try to convince everyone at once, you end up convincing no one.

Instead, the real magic happens at the edges. If you focus your energy on the first 15%—the innovators and early adopters—you reach a critical mass. Once you hit about 15-18% market penetration, a tipping point occurs. Suddenly, the early majority feels safe enough to join in, and your idea spreads like wildfire. This is how tipping point social movements are born.

Icons of Early Adopter Appeal

• Steve Jobs and Elon Musk never built companies for the masses first. They built for the believers—the ones who wanted to be part of something new and bold.
• Their products weren’t “safe bets.” They were risky, different, and polarizing. But that’s exactly what drew in the early adopters and, eventually, the world.

Personal Story: Saying No to the Comfortable Masses

I’ll never forget the day a potential client sat across from me and said, “Convince me.” He wanted to be persuaded, to be sold, to be made comfortable. I walked away. I realized then that anybody who says, ‘Convince me…’ is not going to work. Where the ones I said yes to were the ones who said, ‘You’re on to something.’

It wasn’t easy. Turning down “safe” projects and lucrative gigs nearly broke me. But I knew that chasing the masses meant watering down my vision. Instead, I focused on those who already believed—or at least wanted to believe. These early adopters became my unexpected allies. They were willing to take a risk, to invest time and energy, and to stand in line for something new, even when it wasn’t proven or popular.

Key Takeaways for Innovators and Early Adopters

• Not everyone needs to be convinced. Focus on the 15%—the innovators and early adopters—who want to believe in something new.
• Movements start at the edges. The law of diffusion of innovations shows that aiming for everyone at once doesn’t work; real change catches fire later.
• Refusing safe bets is hard, but necessary. The comfortable majority will come—but only after the tipping point is reached.

In the end, the early adopters marketing strategy isn’t just a tactic. It’s a mindset. If you want to spark a movement, start with the people who already see the world differently.

Why I Ignored Marketing Tricks—And Built Momentum by Accident (Almost)

When I first encountered Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle, I was struck by how different it felt from every marketing book I’d ever read. The idea that organizational purpose and emotional communication in business could be more powerful than clever slogans or ad campaigns challenged everything I thought I knew about building a brand. But what really made me rethink my approach was learning how Sinek himself launched Start With Why—not with a flashy marketing blitz, but with a quiet, almost stubborn refusal to play by the usual rules.

People often assume that the Simon Sinek TED Talk is what made his book a bestseller. In reality, the TED Talk and the book were released around the same time, but their growth wasn’t parallel. There was no viral moment, no national TV appearance, no big advertising spend. Sinek didn’t hire a marketing company or even try to game the Amazon algorithm, a trick many authors use to hit the bestseller lists. In fact, he never even had his book reviewed by a major newspaper. As he put it, he wanted to prove that you don’t need those things to build a movement or a business. He wanted to see if the principles of starting with why—and the law of diffusion—could stand on their own.

Inspired by this, I decided to ignore the usual marketing tricks myself. I stopped chasing the latest fads and instead focused on working with purpose-driven clients, even if it meant living hand-to-mouth for a while. I wanted to see if building movements without marketing was possible, if word of mouth marketing effectiveness could really outshine paid media. I treated my own business like a social experiment, betting everything on the belief that authentic purpose would resonate more deeply than any ad ever could.

The results surprised me. I didn’t have a big launch or a viral moment. What I had was something slower, but far more powerful: momentum built almost by accident. Friends of friends started reaching out, not because they’d seen an ad, but because someone they trusted had told them about my work. The message was spreading, not through mass media, but through genuine conversations. As Sinek says,

“The way word of mouth works is when an early adopter finds something that reflects themselves, they tell their friends.”

This is the secret that most marketing books miss: the most persuasive marketing isn’t marketing at all. It’s a recommendation from someone you trust. When people feel that your message echoes their own values, they don’t just become customers—they become loyal followers. They tell their friends, and those friends tell their friends. That’s how movements grow. It’s not about gaming algorithms or buying ads; it’s about creating something so meaningful that people can’t help but share it.

Looking back, I realize that my so-called anti-marketing approach wasn’t an accident after all. It was a conscious choice to trust in the power of organizational purpose and emotional communication in business. I resisted the urge to chase quick wins or viral fame. Instead, I focused on building real relationships and letting word of mouth do the work. The growth was slower, but it was also more sustainable. The loyalty I earned wasn’t bought; it was built on trust and shared values.

In the end, I learned that building movements without marketing isn’t just possible—it’s often more effective. Word of mouth marketing effectiveness is real, especially when your message is authentic and personal. The Simon Sinek TED Talk may have introduced the world to the Golden Circle, but it was the quiet power of early adopters sharing a purpose that truly built his movement. And that’s a lesson no marketing book can teach: if you start with why, and you stay true to it, the right people will find you—and they’ll bring others along for the journey.