Quick confession: The first time I tried meditation, I was convinced I was doing it wrong. Instead of calm, I got a sudden craving for pizza and an urge to check my phone. Turns out, the real point of meditation isn’t about beating yourself up over random thoughts – it’s about making friends with them. Let’s debunk the myths, laugh at the awkwardness, and unlock meditation for imperfect, busy humans (like us).
Why Thinking ‘Nothing’ In Meditation Is Overrated (The Pizza Experiment)
The ‘Don’t Think’ Trap: Why Trying to Block Thoughts Usually Backfires
When I first started exploring meditation for beginners, I thought the goal was simple: think of nothing. I’d sit down, close my eyes, and try to force my mind into silence. But the harder I tried to stop thinking, the more thoughts seemed to pop up. It was like my brain was playing a prank on me. I’d tell myself, “I’m meditating, keep quiet,” but my mind just got noisier. If you’ve ever tried to meditate and felt like you were failing because you couldn’t stop your thoughts, you’re not alone.
Pizza on the Brain: My Failed Attempt at NOT Thinking About Food
Let’s try a quick experiment together. Right now, don’t think about pizza. No pizza. Seriously, no pizza—not the gooey cheese, not the crispy crust, not even the smell. What happened? Did you think about pizza?
“The more you try to stop thinking, the more you think… Did you think about pizza or No Yes?”
I know I did. The moment I told myself not to think about pizza, it was all I could picture. This is the classic “don’t think” trap. The mind doesn’t like being told what not to do. The more we try to block a thought, the more it pushes back. This is why many people get frustrated with meditation for beginners—they believe they have to clear their mind completely, and when they can’t, they feel like they’re doing it wrong.
Reframing Meditation: Awareness, Not Absence of Thought
Here’s the real secret to how to meditate, especially for beginners: meditation isn’t about deleting your thoughts. It’s about noticing them. When your mind wanders—whether to pizza, your to-do list, or something embarrassing from fifth grade—the practice is to gently notice where your attention went and then bring it back. No judgment, no frustration, just awareness.
Think of your mind like the sky. Thoughts are like clouds or passing storms. You don’t need to chase them away or pretend they aren’t there. Instead, you just watch them drift by. This is the heart of meditation mind wandering: noticing when your mind has wandered and gently returning your focus to your breath, a sound, or whatever anchor you’ve chosen.
- Meditation beginner tips: Don’t fight your thoughts. Notice them and return to your focus.
- It’s normal for your mind to wander—everyone’s does, even experienced meditators.
- The goal isn’t to have an empty mind, but to build awareness of where your mind goes.
So, the next time you sit down to meditate and your brain serves up a hot, cheesy thought about pizza, remember: you don’t need to stop thinking. Just notice, smile, and gently return your attention. That’s real meditation for real people.
Anxiety, Storms, and That Pesky Monkey Mind: Turning Panic Into a Meditation Ally
When people imagine meditation for anxiety and stress, they often picture a peaceful monk on a mountain, untouched by the chaos of daily life. But my own story started in the heart of the Himalayas, surrounded by real storms—and even bigger storms inside my mind. As a child, I was no stranger to panic attacks. Despite the breathtaking beauty of my Himalayan village, anxiety followed me everywhere, like a shadow I couldn’t shake. I was terrified of strangers, and the wild mountain storms—thunder, snow, wind—would send my heart racing. I felt trapped by fear, unable to step outside and meet people.
When I was nine, I finally asked my father, a meditation teacher, to help me. His first lesson surprised me: “Don’t try to fight with the panic. Don’t try to get rid of it.” Instead, he said,
“Awareness is like sky in the mountain and the Panic is like storm in the mountain like cloud. No matter how strong the storm is, it doesn’t change the nature of sky.”That image stuck with me. The sky—pure, calm, always present—remains untouched, even as storms rage through. In the same way, our awareness is always there, beneath the clouds of panic, stress, or the monkey mind’s chatter.
Letting Panic, Stress, and Laziness Come and Go
My father taught me a simple meditation technique to help me connect with this awareness. He told me to sit, relax my body (or just allow it to be tense if I couldn’t relax), close my eyes, and listen to a sound—any sound. The trick was to hear it with both my ears and my mind. That was it. If panic came, let it come and go. If thoughts about pizza or anything else popped up, let them pass. The sound became my anchor, a way to connect with awareness instead of getting lost in the storm.
I wish I could say I became a perfect meditator overnight, but I was a lazy kid. I loved the idea of meditation, but not the practice. My efforts were on and off for years. At thirteen, I joined a traditional three-year retreat in India, hoping it would cure my laziness. It didn’t. In fact, my panic and laziness became best friends, making the retreat feel impossible. I was embarrassed to quit, so I stayed—and learned to live with my panic instead of fighting it.
Observing Fear, Not Drowning in It: The Sky vs. Storm Analogy
This is where the real meditation benefits began. I realized I could meditate with my panic, not against it. Just as I listened to sound, I could watch my panic. When you see the river, you’re not in the river. When you see the mountain, you’re not trapped inside it. By observing my fear, I was no longer drowning in it. My awareness was bigger than the panic.
- Acceptance: I let panic come and go, without judgment.
- Wisdom: I saw that panic wasn’t a solid stone—it was made of sensations, images, beliefs, like shaving foam full of bubbles.
- Self-Compassion: By allowing my feelings, I found kindness for myself.
In this way, meditation for anxiety and stress became a practice of connecting with awareness, transforming panic into a surprising ally. Instead of fighting storms, I learned to watch them pass through my sky.
The Urban Monk, an Empty Wallet, and the Secret of Just Being (Open Awareness in the Wild)
In 2011, I did something that would have made my parents shake their heads. I left my cozy monastery bed, my students, and all my comforts behind. I set off on a wandering retreat through India with just a few thousand rupees in my pocket. It was gone within weeks. Suddenly, I was out of money, alone, and sick on the street—vomiting, dizzy, and convinced I might actually die. This was not the peaceful meditation retreat I had imagined. But it was here, in the middle of chaos, that I stumbled onto the real secret of open awareness meditation.
Why Running Out of Money Was My ‘Aha’ Moment About True Presence
When my last rupee disappeared, so did my sense of control. I couldn’t buy food, medicine, or even a safe place to sleep. My body was weak. My mind, usually busy with plans and worries, was forced to stop. I remember thinking, “Now no need to have support, just be awareness itself.” With nothing left to do, I simply sat with my awareness. No mantra. No sound. No anchor. Just being.
Open Awareness Meditation: No Mantra, No Sound, Just Being
This is the heart of open awareness meditation. It’s not about focusing on your breath or repeating a word. You don’t need a special cushion or a quiet room. You just let your awareness rest in itself, like the sky holding clouds. Thoughts, sounds, and sensations come and go, but you don’t chase them. You don’t push them away. You simply notice, and let it be.
In that raw moment on the street, my mind became incredibly clear. My body was weak, but my awareness felt free—beyond anything I’d known in formal meditation daily routine. This is what mindfulness meditation in daily life can offer: a way to integrate meditation benefits daily life even when everything falls apart.
Unexpected Joy: When the Street Becomes Home and a Tree Becomes a ‘Tree of Love’
After hours in this state, something shifted. The street, once harsh and unfriendly, felt like home. When I looked at a tree, it became a “Tree of Love.” The wind on my face was no longer just air—it was a joyful experience. Ordinary life became vivid, meaningful, and full of quiet happiness. This is one of the most powerful meditation relaxation techniques I’ve ever found: just being, without needing anything extra.
“Now no need to have support, just be awareness itself. So I did this... when I look at the tree, tree become like Tree of Love.”
Learning From Struggle: The Beauty and Weirdness of Open Awareness in the Wild
Looking back, I realize how strange it is that losing everything taught me the most about presence. Struggle stripped away my habits and forced me to meet life as it really is. Open awareness meditation doesn’t need a mountain or a monastery. It can happen in the middle of city noise, sickness, or even an empty wallet. The real secret? You don’t have to do anything special. Just be. And sometimes, that’s where the deepest peace and joy are hiding.
Wild Card: Will Meditation Make Me Boring? (Plus: The Pizza Test, Revisited)
Let’s get honest about a fear I hear all the time from meditation beginners: “If I get too calm, will I lose my edge? Will meditation make me boring?” I used to wonder the same thing. I pictured myself turning into some super-serene robot, floating through life, unbothered by anything—even pizza. And if you know me, you know pizza is never boring.
Here’s the truth: meditation and mindfulness aren’t about erasing your personality or numbing your emotions. In fact, the real essence of meditation is awareness. That means knowing what you’re thinking, feeling, doing, seeing, or hearing—whatever is happening, right now. That’s all. Meditation is actually very simple, but it’s easy to misunderstand. Many people think it’s about emptying your mind or becoming some kind of emotionless monk on a mountain. But as I always say,
"You don’t need a mountain, just a moment."
So, let’s revisit the Pizza Test. Imagine your mind is hosting a party. You invite pizza (because, obviously), but then panic and self-doubt show up too. Meditation isn’t about kicking panic out or pretending self-doubt isn’t there. It’s about noticing them, maybe even handing them a slice, and letting them hang out. You don’t have to force anything away. You just become more aware and accepting of whatever comes up—pizza, panic, or even that weird anchovy thought you didn’t order.
Here’s where the magic happens: when you practice meditation relaxation techniques, you don’t become less interesting. You become more present, more spontaneous, and even a little lighter with whatever arises. Instead of getting stuck in old habits or spirals of worry, you start to notice what’s happening in the moment. That’s what meditation calming mind is really about. You’re not suppressing your quirks or emotions—you’re actually making more space for them to show up, and for you to respond in new ways.
And if I could add one thing to every meditation app, it’d be a ‘random pizza button.’ (Just kidding… or am I?) Because sometimes, the best meditation beginner tips are the ones that remind us to keep it real. Meditation isn’t about perfection or pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about being fully yourself, with all your toppings—cheesy, spicy, or even a little bit weird.
So, will meditation make you boring? Not a chance. If anything, it helps you show up more fully for the wild, unpredictable, delicious mess of being human. You don’t need to be a monk on a mountain. You just need a moment—and maybe a slice of pizza—to notice what’s here, and let it be. That’s meditation for real people.
TL;DR: Meditation isn’t about shutting off your mind; it’s learning to notice what’s there – pizza thoughts, panic, and all – with gentle awareness. Anyone can do it, anywhere. You don’t need a mountain, just a moment.